HomeWorldExploring Apocalyptic Scenarios Through Wikipedia's End-of-the-World Page

Exploring Apocalyptic Scenarios Through Wikipedia’s End-of-the-World Page

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Dive into the apocalyptic scenarios that await humanity, as outlined in Wikipedia’s End-of-the-World page. From the Big Slurp to the Ultimate Fate of the Universe, explore the mind-boggling scientific theories and existential significance of these far-future events.

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Every year of human history has a dedicated entry on Wikipedia, but as you scroll through the years, something peculiar happens. The pages start to get a bit… speculative.

According to my favorite Wikipedia wormhole, one possible way our universe could meet its demise is with a rather mundane-sounding event: ‘the Big Slurp.‘ This apocalyptic scenario is just one of many possibilities, occurring a whopping 100 quindecillion (give or take a few septillion) years from now.

The internet’s inbuilt dissonance is perfectly encapsulated on Wikipedia‘s seemingly innocuous Timeline of the far future page. This color-coded spreadsheet offers a snapshot of mind-boggling scientific theory, wrapped up in a boring presentation that belies its existential significance.

As you surf through the years, you’ll encounter a mix of asteroid near-misses, grim climate catastrophe, and bizarre geopolitics. But things start to get really trippy around the 24th century, with events like a ‘negative equinoctial paradox‘ in 2353, every person in Japan having the same surname by 2531, and the conclusion of John Cage‘s organ work As Slow as Possible in 2640.

DATACARD
Understanding the Negative Equinoctial Paradox

The negative equinoctial paradox is a mathematical anomaly that occurs when calculating the time of sunrise and sunset during the equinoxes.

It states that the sun can rise before it sets on certain days, seemingly violating the fundamental laws of astronomy.

This phenomenon is due to the Earth's slightly ellipsoidal shape and its tilt, causing variations in solar declination.

The paradox was first identified by British astronomer Edmond Halley in 1691 and has since been extensively studied and explained by mathematicians and astronomers.

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From there, all roads lead to the online abyss that is Timeline of the far future. Here, you can learn about exploding red supergiants visible in the daytime sky, planetary collisions, evaporating oceans, spacetime singularities, and the final demise of JavaScript (time of death: 13 September 275,760 CE).

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The Far Future Timeline: Predictions and Possibilities

According to current astrophysical models, the Earth is expected to collide with the star Sirius in approximately 7.8 billion years.

However, this event is unlikely to occur due to the vast distances involved.

In about 1 trillion years, the Milky Way galaxy will merge with the Andromeda galaxy.

By around 2 trillion years, the solar system will be consumed by the expanding Sun.

The universe's entropy will continue to increase, leading to a gradual decline in the number of stars and planets.

The truly adventurous can delve even further into the Ultimate fate of the universe page, which reads like a tasting menu for total annihilation. Will it be the Big Freeze, Big Crunch, Big Bounce, Big Rip, or indeed, the Big Slurp?

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The Ultimate Fate of the Universe: A Cosmic Perspective

The ultimate fate of the universe is a topic of ongoing debate among scientists and cosmologists.

According to the Big Bang theory, the universe began as an infinitely hot and dense point around 13.8 billion years ago.

It has been expanding ever since, with galaxies moving away from each other.

The most widely accepted theory is that the universe will continue to expand indefinitely, potentially leading to a state known as the 'heat death' where all energy has dissipated.

However, some theories suggest the universe could collapse back in on itself in a 'Big Crunch'.

Wikipedia, like any encyclopedia, was never designed to spark emotion – but sometimes the sheer psychic weight of its information can’t help but instill a kind of awe. When I read these wholly benign chronicles of ‘astroengineering projects‘ and ‘femtosecond laser-etched nanostructures,’ I feel my tiny human brain butting up against the limits of its imagination.

Some people describe looking up at the stars on a clear night and feeling reverential and small. I get that same feeling by scrolling these Wikipedia pages, reading history before it’s happened; me at my little desk with my little keyboard doing my little jobs, trying to wrap my head around a world in which future archaeologists identify the ‘urban stratum‘ of fossilised coastal cities – just like mine – 100m years from now. Then I close all my browser tabs and race off to pilates.

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